


Even if you break me

by adnarim97



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Angst, Idk i kinda made myself sad with this one, M/M, i guess kinda, oh fuck me what have i done?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-22
Updated: 2014-10-22
Packaged: 2018-02-22 04:25:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2494355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adnarim97/pseuds/adnarim97
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aomine is using Wakamatsu as an substitute for Kagami after their break up. And this is Wakamatsu's view on everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Even if you break me

**Author's Note:**

> This was part of an tumblr prompt, I can't seem to find it now though I'll be sure to link it as soon as I do.  
> I'm sorry about this thing.

Everyone was always looking at me with pity. I knew they were, even if they tried their best to hide it. They didn't know I understood. But I did, of course I did. How could I not honestly? However the pitiful gazes were nothing more than that, no one came up to me and told me they felt sorry for me. Maybe they didn't want to break my 'happy bubble' they thought I was in. What they didn't know was that there never was a bubble. I was and still am fully aware of my situation. I know that I'm a substitute for Kagami. It was never said out loud by anyone, but I knew. A couple of weeks after Kagami had broken up with Aomine he had searched me up after practice. He didn't say anything, he had just simply kissed me. Maybe he knew fully well how I felt for him and that was why he did it, or maybe I just happened to be there and that's it. Whatever the reason to why he did it I didn't stop him. I didn't tell him to stop. I told myself this was enough for me, because now I would be able to be with him, touch him, kiss him. I said to myself that it was enough, and that I shouldn't ask for more or wish for more. And I didn't, I was even doing pretty good, not thinking too much into it. But of course it wouldn't last. He slipped up, which I should have known he would sooner or later. He had held me close, thrusting into me as always but when he came he had whispered his name, one tiny word and it had felt like a stab to my side. I didn't let him know that it hurt, I didn't want to let him see that I cared too much, maybe if I did then he would find someone else. No, I didn't say anything about it, instead I kissed him, hard and long, trying desperately to make the pain dissappear, to distract my mind, anything. I didn't succeed. But it was okay I kept saying, since his heart might not be mine but his body was. It was enough, that had to be enough. 

He didn't only slip up once though, I thought it would hurt less for every time since I thought I would get used to it. But everytime it just felt like a knife thrusting into the same place again. Into the same old wound that was still trying to heal. If anything it only hurt more for everytime. I didn't let my mask fall though. Everytime after he had finished he would look my way and tell me we should do it again soon and that he would text me as usual, I smiled and nodded as always. And then he would leave, not looking back at me. He didn't like to look at me during sex either. Which was understandable, it wasn't me he wanted there to begin with. He liked it best when we did it from behind, there was very few times we did it any other way. 

He seemed to like the feeling of my hair though. He always found his way there, his hands gripping and tugging at it or just gently brushing through it. This made me happy, even though I knew it just reminded him of the redhead. It was okay I said, I was okay with it, wasn't I? 

And never did we go on dates either, it was pretty obvious really. We weren't togheter or anything either. Fuck buddies at best. I never were the one to come to him when I wanted to see him either. I didn't want him to think I was clingy or annoying. So i waited for him to text or show up at my front door. We always did it that way. I didn't mind.

It was fine that I was only an substitute for someone else. It was okay that he only uses me. I didn't mind having my heart broken or my psyche ruined. Sleepless night's, loss of appetite, feeling drained all the time, was all good. I was able to spend time with the one I love so why shouldn't it be okay? It didn't matter at all. I wouldn't be able to have him any other way anyway, so this was a blessing. I loved him, even if he was killing me slowly.

He could break everything I am and still I would be grateful to him. Isn't that was love is all about?


End file.
